Gene and Tonic, July 8, 2016: 49ers Going into Genetic Testing

Theral Timpson

Just two years at their new home in Silicon Valley and not far down the road from 23andMe, the San Francisco 49ers are offering their fans genetic testing and the chance to donate blood to advance human genome research.

Announcing a partnership with the company ORIG3N, the 49er Chief Operating Officer, Ethan Casson, says that “this is the first agreement of its kind where a major sports organization can give back to the human genome some of what the genome has given to professional football players.”

ORIG3N CEO said, “it’s an incredible opportunity to show 49er fans just how bad their own sports genes are compared to an average NFL player, to say nothing of warning them of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson's and anything else that could some day kill them.”

He also said his company name was so bad that they needed a major deal like this to go anywhere.

Scientists who weighed in on the announcement praised the 49ers for their progressive attitude to health, saying that if the 49ers can’t end all the concussions, perhaps they can help out in this other way.

George Church, who has spent years trying to go about collecting DNA samples in the right way, said, “screw it,” and volunteered to be an usher at the games and give tests to the fans.

“We always hear that we are ‘ushering’ in a new era of medicine,” he reminded.

Luke Timmerman reported on his Report that he just got back from the White House where he overheard the Veep expressing some envy of the 49ers deal.

“We have to use this one press room at the White House to get people participating in the President’s Initiative and my Cancer Moonshot,” said Biden. “And they have a stadium!”

There was one lone editor at the San Francisco Chronicle who chimed in with skepticism of the 49ers getting into genetic testing (moving south): “Do we need any more proof to know that there is something wrong with the Silicon Valley water? Whoever drinks it always comes up more thirsty . . . for data."